Posted by: Wendy | January 14, 2009

The Bubble Bath

The last time I had a bubble bath was when I was about 7 months pregnant with Noah.  I specifically remember thinking it might be the last one for a long time.  I had been in the tub about five minutes when I heard someone knocking on the front door.  I struggled my huge pregnant self out of the tub, threw my robe around me and waddle-ran to the door.  Of course, by that time whoever it was had gone.

Last night I realized there’s no reason I can’t take a bubble bath now.  It was 9:00 and all the kids were sleeping and the house was clean.  I didn’t have anything else I had to do before the night was over.  I was a little hesitant, though, because I wasn’t sure if I could just lie there in the hot water for more than ten minutes.  After some nudging from my friends on Twitter I shook off the laziness and went into the bathroom.

I realized I didn’t have any bubble bath because Tessa had used the last half of the bottle a couple of days before.  I stared at the shampoo bottles for a moment considering, but then remembered I had a litte gift set of bath supplies that I had been saving for a special occasion.  While I tore off the plastic it occurred to me that I had been saving it for at least five years.  I took out the tiny bottle of Wild Honey bubble bath and tried to take the lid off.  I thought the cute little cork was sealed with wax, but after trying unsuccessfully to cut through it with a fingernail I realized it was hot glued on.  I wound up cutting the top half of the cork off trying to get through the glue, so I had to use my corkscrew to get it out.  I sniffed deeply of the scent.  And sniffed again… There was no Wild Honey smell at all!  I don’t know if it was because it was so old, or if it didn’t have much scent in the first place.  But that was okay.  I would still have bubbles.

I went back into the bathroom and started the water, then saw how dirty Noah had left the tub.  So I cleaned it then started the water again and dumped in the entire bottle of bubble bath.  I went to the sink to wash my face and by the time I was rinsing it I noticed the water wasn’t very warm at all.  I had already run out of hot water and the tub wasn’t even half full!

But I thought to myself it would do for a few minutes, pulled my hair up and stepped into the tepid mass of bubbles.  It felt nice on my feet, so I got in and tried to relax against the back of the tub.  My neck was bent at a very un-natural angle and my knees were sticking up.  It was then that I noticed how small our bathtub is.  This is like a kiddie sized thing!  There was no slope to the back end of the tub, no room to put my head back, and not enough hot water.

I tried to lie there anyway and make myself relax.  Then I noticed a spot under the faucet that I missed when cleaning.  And all the clutter of all my bottles on the shelves over the toilet.  Then the heater came on and while it’s usually quite warm in the bathroom, when you’re sitting in barely warm water, and your un-submerged skin it wet, it’s cold.  Really.

Thomas called after a few minutes and asked what I was doing.  I could practically hear the blood leave his head when I said I was taking a bubble bath.  I decided to go ahead and get out because he said he was on the way home.  There was no way I wanted him to see me actually in the tub.  He had images that were all about luxury and steam and sexiness.  In reality it was cramped and cold and so not sexy.  And while the hot sex later was great, I sure wish I could have had my hot bubble bath!


Don’t forget about the Can We Talk? section!  I need to post something over there!  Come on friends.  I know there’s something on your mind.  Are you worried because I’ll know who you are?  Open up a different email account.  It would only take a minute and you wouldn’t have to ever use it again.  Come on… please?



  1. Hmmm, hot sex or hot bath? Sadly, I’m not sure which one I’d pick. This is by no means commentary on my husband, mind you.

  2. Ilinap- Lol! I’d pick both! 😉

  3. Hey, I’d take hot sex over a hot bath any day! lol… but a hot bath is mostly for the relaxation part I suppose. Maybe you should just go to the spa! That would be a nice treat for ya.

    ❤ Huggles

  4. Tia- I had a massage at the spa last week. lol. Was great, but then my back hurt for days. Next time I need to relax though, I might get a facial. 😉

    Huggles. That’s cute. lol

  5. THAT was so disappointing. You’re going to be stuck doing it the olllld fashion way and heat water on the damn stove!

  6. Anissa- Bwahahaha! Having to heat the water on the stove would be appropriate kharma though. lol

  7. The best laid plans…

    maybe you can try again in 5 years

  8. Hey! What a great bath! LOL. I don’t think I have ever had one! I love the picture of your eyes on your blog – very clever and pretty 🙂 Glad you are back!

  9. Ahw when I read you had crap all but a 5 yr old bubble bath bottle to use, I thought “Right! I’m going to mail you some!”. By the time I got to the end, it had turned into a full blown care package.

    Maybe it was just as well you had sex. I’d have chosen the bath, but I’m in no state for sex…

  10. I finally made it over here! Love the premise! And the masthead? Sexy! I tried to take a bubble bath a couple of weeks ago, but my thoughts and honey do list only let me stay for about 10 minutes before I was out.

  11. Your description of the bath had me cracking up– that’s so happened to me and it sucks!!!

  12. The wry, honest and often hilarious chronicles of a very brave and clever TV presenter, Arctic Explorer and general drawer of the Short Straw.

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